https://app.dropwave.io/episode/82244888-21a9-48ad-b222-c612bb2c026c/invocavit-lent-1-midweek-ad-2025-table-of-duties-husbands-and-wives.mp3

++ JESU JUVA ++

In the Name of the Father, and of the + Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

The Table of Duties is a way of talking about authority, submission, and mutual duty. Today we consider what it says about husbands and wives. Under that heading, we have three passages listed. But before we look at any of those texts, I want to consider what Bible passages are not included.

We know from this past Sunday that husbands and wives are given instruction about their order in the Creation and Fall; we know that over and over in the Gospels, Jesus is addressing marriage and divorce; Saint Paul in 1 Corinthians 13 has an extended discourse on love — a popular text for weddings. We don’t hear Solomon’s writing about how two are better than one and the 3-fold cord that is not quickly broken. There is nothing in the Table of Duties from Solomon’s extended song book about marriage.

Instead, the Table of Duties only gives us a very small part of what the Bible says about husbands and wives. So I think we can see that this list of verses isn’t meant to be an exhaustive list of our Christian duty within our various vocations. Rather, Luther is giving us a pointed summary of what the Bible says about our callings as Christians.

Luther’s Table of Duties could well be expanded beyond the topics he lists. We could also consider the educational setting within the family: giving and receiving teaching; man’s dominion of creation: receiving creation as a gift and stewarding it; the doctrine of the two kingdoms — our Lord’s left-hand and right-hand rule of the world — and the relation between them; we could talk about the three estates — church, family, and government, and how they relate to one another.

These all fit under the broad category of what the old Lutherans called “orders of creation.” It is about the order that God built into the creation, and the various ways that things relate to other things. It would be absurd to talk about what a husband is and does, and how and why he relates to his wife, but without ever mentioning the fact that he has a wife.

Yes, there is far more to be said about all these topics, but it seems that Luther is interested in giving us a most pointed summary. These passages focus especially on what it looks like for each of these relationships to simply function. So it’s something like the process of taking apart an engine to see what all the pieces are supposed to do. We aren’t really going to get into the details of the best material for each part or how it can operate most efficiently.

The Table of Duties is just the basics. This also means that when a husband and wife has learned these basics that they will go on to see what else God has given them in this order of holy marriage. The Lord always has more to teach and more to give. Yet the basics are never discarded or outgrown. So we tonight return to basics.

To Husbands:

1 Peter — Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Colossians 3 — Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

And to wives:

Ephesians 5 — Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

1 Peter — They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Husbands are to love their wives; wives are to subordinate themselves to their husbands. We could expand each of these brief passages, especially the one from Ephesians, to see how holy marriage is given by God as an earthly image of Christ and His Church. But I suspect you’ve probably already heard many sermons about that part, and the teaching about love and submission is fine and good when things are functioning properly. Husbands — when you feel respected by your wife, it’s easier to love her. Wives — when you feel your husband is giving you the love you need, it’s easier to respect him.

But what happens when it seems like your counterpart isn’t doing his or her duty? What happens when a wife feels unloved? What happens when a husband experiences a lack of respect?

Then it seems as though your joy and peace have been sucked away and you’re left wondering what to do. Most of us, though, probably don’t just peacefully step back and observe all this objectively. It’s hard to be peaceful when you have a lack of peace.

What about when the vows you so eagerly made on your wedding day have been forgotten or left behind? What happens when the kindness of your spouse turns from eager help to harsh and bitter?