https://app.dropwave.io/episode/e3571803-529d-45fd-a2a8-665c6496bc1e/trinity-11-ad-2025.mp3

++ JESU JUVA ++

In the Name of the Father, and of the + Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Two men went up to the Temple to pray today. There’s only two of us because there’s only two kinds of people in the world: the righteous and the unrighteous. those whom God loves, and those who have put themselves outside of God’s love.

So I have gone up to the House of God to pray. I stand on the blood-stained pavement and open my mouth to speak to God. He’s been good to me, and I am thankful, so I will pray to Him. God, I thank you that I’m not like other people. I’m not like the politicians who are motivated by power and greed. I’m not like the pastors who publicly preach against certain sins while committing those same sins in darkness. I’ve never thought about cheating on my wife, and I love my children dearly.

I don’t waste my time with gossip or social media. I volunteer my time to help the needy, the poor, and orphans and widows. I give at least 25% of everything I get to the church. I’m a good husband and dad. I teach my children to love God and their neighbor. So, God, I thank you that you have made me such a good example to others. I’m glad I don’t struggle with my sin. I’m pleased that I’m not tempted to look at porn or steal from my neighbor or tell lies about him. I’m glad, God, that you have made me so holy and kind and good. Thank you, God, for making me better than that guy in the back pew. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Well, wasn’t that a great church service? I was able to stand by myself and not be defiled by getting too close to that sinner in the back. But I really am glad he finally came to church today. It had been such a long time since I’ve seen him. I’m glad he got to hear me pray. I hope my prayer will convince him it’s better to be a Pharisee than a tax collector. My prayer has at least convinced me. You know, I am a pretty fantastic fellow. More than that, when I hear myself say all these things out loud, I’m impressed! I sure hope God liked it, too!

But for [the Pharisee’s prayer] the Lord had no regard.

I think life in this world is about getting approval from others. It’s putting your best foot forward, hiding or covering up your faults, and curating what you let others see. If I check all the right boxes, my friends and associates will like me. And when I do everything just right, their approval feels nice.

But then I slip up. There’s a miscommunication, a mistake — perhaps even a sin — and then their approval vanishes. When their approval is removed, my peace goes away with it. I might feel peace right now, but I’m acutely aware that at any moment, it can be stolen away from me. So I have to tiptoe through life. I’m uneasy.

Sometimes this fear immobilizes me. I can’t bring myself to be with others. I’m too afraid of what they will think of me. So I find it’s better to just be alone. At least then I can imagine that I’m likable.

Because I know that the world will only approve of me if I earn it. It depends on me. It depends on what I can offer. If I just say the right thing and act the right way, I’ll be accepted.

I’ve got a secret to share. I’m sure you won’t tell anyone, right? Good. The secret is this: sometimes when I’ve sinned against my neighbor, I’m not sorry for it. I know. You probably think the worst of me. But that’s the way it is. Even though I might not be sorry, I still want to be accepted. So I’ll try to make peace. I’ll try to offer a sacrifice.

My neighbor usually sees right through me. He sees I’m not sorry. He knows I’m not offering a true apology. That I’m just saying ‘sorry’ to make the whole thing go away. I don’t have sorrow over what I did to hurt him. I’m just going through the motions so that I can feel better. I’m just saying the right words — making the right noises with my mouth — so that he’ll stop talking about what I did wrong. It’s not because I hate my sin. What I hate is being bothered about my sin. I hate being told what I’ve done wrong.

So if I’m being honest, when I said ‘sorry,’ it wasn’t really an apology. It was a bribe. It’s an attempt to buy favor from my neighbor. And I usually think it’ll work. If I just say ‘I’m sorry,’ then my neighbor will stop bothering me about my behavior. Sometimes it might require tears or promises not to do it again. But the key is acting sorry enough. Make the words sound like contrition. And if I do it well enough, my neighbor will accept my offering and he’ll rejoice with me.

But he saw through the whole thing. He sees I’m not really sorry. He recognizes that these crocodile tears are fake. He sees that I’m not apologizing because I love him — but just because I want to get something from him. So he rejects my bribe.

I said ‘sorry,’ but he wouldn’t accept it. It’s surprising, really. I really tried to sound contrite. I poured all this work into being accepted, and it didn’t help! I tried. so. hard. to gain his approval, and he still wouldn’t give it to me. My sacrifice is just kicked aside. But instead of this leading me to repentance, I let my anger take control. I believed I was right. A great injustice has been done to me. So if my neighbor won’t give willingly me his approval, I’ll just have to go and take it.

Because I look around, and I’m surprised to see that not everyone agrees with me. They’re not angry about this like I am. They are calm and at peace. Why can they not see it my way? I want them to be angry about this injustice like I am. So I raise my fist and demand that they become angry, too. Ugh. It’s so frustrating. Why will they not join my righteous cause? Why will they not see that my anger is good?

Oh well. No matter. If they won’t join in my anger willingly, I’ll make them get angry. I’ll take out my frustration on the nearest person. Especially the one who doesn’t share my anger.

The Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering, the Lord had no regard. Therefore Cain became very angry and his face fell. The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why has your face fallen? … Sin is crouching at the door. It desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” … And when Cain and his brother Abel were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and murdered him.